Welcome to the Boat of FUN! Fun seems to be the focus of this trip into the water of God and of little birds that can swim and dive as it pleases. This is my first cruise and it is quite an experience. There are a few things that have caused me great alarm and entertainment:
1) Thought #1: I for the past several years (over 14-ish) have prided myself in not peeing on an airplane. I sat one day waiting for my plane to board and they were cleaning out the plane. I wondered what this random hose was for. At one time I thought it was so cool that humans could actually go pee in the nifty bathroom in the back of the plane, but on that fateful day—NO MORE! I felt so bad in my eight-year-old heart of hearts for that crewman who had to hook up the pee hose to the belly of the plane, that I vowed to NEVER, EVER pee on a plane.
Unfortunately, I have done the equivalent on this boat. I could possibly strengthen my bladder muscles for 3, 4, 5, even 6 or 8 hours (compliments of student teaching this past spring), but it is physiologically hazardous to keep one’s bladder full for 5 days—the length of this cruise. I try not to think about the fact that somewhere someplace, there is pee under me—not just other random ppl, but mine. If a section of the ship smells particularly bathroom-y, I can’t pass it with pride knowing that it is not my fault. It could be, and that makes me sad. Alas…
2) Thought #2: Gone are the days of Titanic-looking boats. This boat—possibly the size of Noah’s back in the day—is a wonder of engineering and human creativity and genius. Imagine a mall, casino, hotel, spa, gym, hair salon, an ex-alcoholic Anonymous’ secret haven (aka bar), 3 eating areas—two with 4 and 5 star eats, elevators, and endless hallways. I often wondered what the Mayflower was like and have read narratives about the plight of the Pilgrims to this land of taxation, unequal opportunities, political slavery, and ill-conceived “bliss”. Was it cold? Hot? Smelly? I have come to the realization that I will never know if boats are now the likes of Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian.
3) Thought #3 I MUST learn how to dance. After much coaxing from a dear friend in Murray, my academic home-town, before reaching international waters and exorbitant satellite cell-phone roaming rates, I was encouraged to cut a rug while on the boat. Although all of the “Intro to Cruising” talks have reminded the passengers that “what happens on the boat stays on the boat” and “you’ll never see these people again”, I still have trouble with the idea of dancing. First, I am one of the few people on this boat of African descent—therefore I will stick out in the crowd—even if the dance hall is dark. Second, people assume that all black people can dance. Clearly they have not met me. Thirdly, there is no mathematical algorithm that is to be solved when dancing. If there was a formula that I could memorize to “shake my dinero maker” (as a song quips), I would be all for it and probably a master of dancing. However, it is these three concerns that have plagued me in learning to dance. I did attempt. God allowed the DJ to play Cupid Shuffle which has explicit directions on which way to move and how many times—to the right, to the right, to the right, to the right…..Hey! I can do that! I took the advice of my dear friend and memories of what to do with my hands to coordinate with my feet from the Springer Ladies and OWNED the Cupid Shuffle! I was kinda good at it! *tear!
I t I think that is it for the day. Tomorrow will provide many more things to discuss and observe.
De Deuces guys!
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