Blog #5 de Cruise 2Ten: It’s really not a small world

Blog #5: It’s really not a small world after all”

Today was “Fun Ship” day—aka “keep from dying of claustrophobia and civic unrest” day. Most people on the boat are at polar opposites—either they want to form mutiny and create a smoke signal that will attract the U.S. Air Force for an air rescue mission or they want to stay on the boat, procreate, and make merry until Jesus comes back. I will say that I’m leaning towards the smoke signal side. Vacation is over and I’m ready to get back to the life that I know.

A few things did come out of this trip for me.

1) Firstly, I am ready to stay in America for the foreseeable future and take exotic vacations to faraway lands.

2) Secondly, I know that cruising is not going to be a staple in my budget book for the foreseeable future nor will cruising be on the agenda for my honeymoon.

3) Thirdly, I know that the Mayflower must have been pure hell because it didn’t have neon lights, toilets that flush in 6-seconds (see Blog #1), nor live musicians every hour on the hour from 9ish to midnight-ish.

4) Fourthly, I’m convinced that the world gets bigger and bigger the older I get. They say “It’s a small world”, but that only deals with people. When one looks out onto water and see nothing but water until the sky hits the sea, one’s problems, ego, and complaints are suddenly minimized to a dismal level. I watched a storm come in and I watched the sun peek behind the clouds and hit the waves in the deepest blue possible and all I could think of is how fortunate I am to enjoy this luxury of a pure, unadulterated, and natural masterpiece. Few will ever see the ocean and I’m cruising in it.

5) Fifthly, I am now able to enjoy my own small surroundings in little tiny Murray, KY in my small classes and my small dorm without dire need of a route of escape. It almost seems cozy. For I know the minute I zone out in class and the professor writes stuff on the chalkboard that might as well be Greek, I can float away to the top of the Carnival Fun Ship, gaze out at the deepest blue possible, inhale the salt water mist, and think about how small I am and how great is the God I am privileged to serve. Viva Murray!

Blog #4 de Cruise 2Ten: “Intestines turned pinball machine”

After Progreso, I was good. I had heard about the Mexican-esque USA tourismo Cozumel and was a bit apprehensive in setting sail there. I heard that the beach was “much better” there and that it was more pricey. All three of these things were oh-so-true-extra-super-mega-to-the-extreme.

My family and I got a late start. We all woke by about 9:17ish and were out the door by around 10:30ish (there are few clocks on the boat, hence the “-ish”). Mom wanted some food so we got the mass-produced buffet upstairs and set our eyes on the ocean. An absolutely INCREDIBLE blue—like oh-so-true-extra-super-mega-to-the-extreme-blue. Dark in some places, turquoise in others. White-capped sometimes washing up on the rocky coast. Just fabulous. We cross the really long pier between two other cruise lines into Plaza Maya—the tourismo-capital of Cozumel. It was a gated area of touristy stuff with tourists from 3 cruise lines excited about beer, diamonds, duty-free t-shirts, and more beer. You were trapped into this pueblo and steered away from real Cozumel until you had at least spent 1/2 your life savings and IRAs. I eluded the temptation and headed out to the regular city.

Outside the city, they had taxis ready to take you to the other touristy plaza. I asked the driver to take us to where the Mexicans shop and he did, but not without trying to convince us to take his personal tour of the city and a Mayan ruin—“Only $50—great price!” I kindly said no and guided my family through the semi-Mexico. We walked the streets and introduced Mom to Mexico. Now for the highlights:

#1: We walked about 7 long blocks and at a really quiet corner was an art studio with a well-traveled native who had a passion for turning live scenes into still masterpieces. His work covered every inch of wall space and would have been bought out if I had a way of magically transforming my 10’x12’ dorm into a 1200 sq. ft. condo in Dupont Circle in Washington D.C. But alas, pictures will have to do for now. His use of colors were so convincing and almost musical. My favorite was one where he sketched out at a painter/jazz evening. Musicians would play while painters drew. He took greens, yellows, and a few of accent colors to create a mirage/waterfall effect. Then upon looking closer, he lightly penciled each of the musicians with their instruments in each of the corners. Man I need a condo!!!

#2: After Mom found her “authentic and unique pieces of Mexican pottery” and John his two pieces of artwork from the pintura, it was time for lunch! I spotted this open-air restaurant and thought it might be a nice, more classic home-diner restaurant than yesterday’s eats and a good warm-up restaurant for my mom who had more cautious tastes. Our waiter was quite patient and helped us order our lunches. She brought our aguas de frutas or fruit waters—I ordered a cantaloupe one, and Mom got a papaya/lemon one. Can’t get no mo better! I ordered Fish—Veracruz style. I didn’t know what Veracruz (a city in Mexico) had to do with making fish, but she said it was really tasty. I also thought it to be a good idea to have a fish dish knowing the ocean was 5 blocks away. For our appetizer, we had fresh-out-the-grease corn tortilla chips and chunky guacamole. The guacamole has temporarily turned my long and short intestines into a fast-paced Laundromat pinball machine and is scoring points as it knocks into my internal organs. I have no idea what type of fish she served, but it was brilliantly cooked with fresh tomatoes, onions, peppers, and olives and served with beans and white rice. A religious experience--although I picked out the olives.

#3: I think I mentioned somewhere in Blog 1, 2, or 3 that I left part of my heart in Mexico the last time I was here in Summer 2008. I only stayed for 5 weeks, but I really lived in the culture, with the language, and of the people. When I came home, I struggled with living in America, and felt I needed to validate myself by “finding” my heart again in Mexico. Something did not set well with me and hasn’t for over 18 months. Well, I can truly say, that my longings are no more, I have found my “Missing Piece” as Shel Silverstein quipped in one of his books, and I can continue my life without thinking about Mexico every 2.5 seconds. I desperately missed walking the streets, watching people inhale and exhale, ebbing and flowing with the smell of empanadas and fresh corn tortillas…but I’m good now. I don’t know what it was, but I felt complete—like I could treasure Mexico without idolizing or downing American culture as it compares to that of south of the border. I’m America bound!!!

To be continued…

Blog #3 de Cruise 2Ten: Taking the Road Less Traveled

Welcome to Mexico!!! I honestly think I left part of my heart in Mexico in 2008. How I have missed it! I heard the Mexican Mariachi band when we got off the boat and my heart smiled. Alas—the air filled with smells of taquitos, clothes, slight sewer, FRUIT, and Spanish just warmed my spirit. Oh man! I wasn’t hit on as much which I was not looking forward to—the men were actually able to control themselves in Progreso, Mexico unlike Morelia. But I didn’t stand out with an afro this time. John mentioned that he didn’t like being 1.5 heads taller than the natives there.

With this being John’s first trip out of America, I wanted to show him “True Mexico”. People on the boat said that there was little to do/see in Progreso and that the beach wasn’t as great as Cozumel (where we’re going tomorrow), however, I knew that it couldn’t be as fun-less as people were saying. So John and I watched all the Americans go left towards the beach and we turned right and took the road less traveled by Americans. Within 3 blocks, we were in True Mexico where things were sold in Pesos, food was really cheap, and children played on the sidewalks next to their abuelitas or grandmothers.

John and I walked and walked and walked. We found a grocery store that sold the card game Uno—slightly ironic. We found an amazing heladoría or ice cream shop that sold frozen juice popsicles made from real fruit. They pretty much squeezed a pineapple into a mold, stuck a stick in it, froze it, and sold it to me for $0.50. John got a strawberry one.

We found clothes in the mercado or market. We saw the American one and later found the Mexican one with cheaper prices. We each ate 1 mini flat taco—corn tortilla, Mexican mystery meat (beef, pork, or combo), fresh onions, cilantro, lime juice, salsa for about $0.90. I bought a pretty cool dress that I’m wearing right now as I type this blog entry. When the streets started turning more residential, we back-tracked and went toward the beach. That’s when we ran into all the cruisers almost butt-naked and sun-bathing. After listening to the waves, for about 20 minutes while a lady ran to find John an XL shirt, we made sure we had all of our new buys: a dress, 3 bootleg DVDs, and a mango.

We walked the beach to get back to the bus. But I got distracted by more food—this time it was a crunchy crepe with a really strong asiago-like cheese and Nutella (a chocolate-hazelnut spread). I’m not exactly sure what animal the cheese came from—I couldn’t read the wrapper. Quite amazing.

I stopped next to an artisan who was making hats out of a palm branch, a tribute to his father who taught him the art 5 years ago. I bought it for $5 and was the center of attention on the bus going back to the ship.

I almost got to the bus without buying anything else. But my efforts were fruitless. I was hit again by a very eager salesman who offered me a hand stitched, navy blue dress for $39 American dollars. I said, “No gracias (no thank you)” and slowly moved away, and he says—“You eh-speak-eh Spanish, no?” I said I did, but he needed to speak slowly. He spoke with such passion and told me how beautiful the dress would look on me and how he was so happy to see an American that spoke Spanish. Then he said—“For you, just because you speak Spanish, I will offer the dress for $20 American. Can’t get better!” I said, “SOLD!” It’s slightly sexy, so I’ll have to hold a prayer vigil before I wear it.

Last, but not least—dinner time!!! Today’s appetizer was cured Salmon which was RAW! I tasted it and thought I was going to gag, but it was too expensive of a cut of meat to gag on. So I scrunched my nose and slowly passed tiny pieces from my right cheek, across my tongue, down my esophagus. I kinda liked it, kinda didn’t. Grossed me out, and fascinated me. So I ate the rest of it. The entrée was turkey, wealthy-tasting stuffing with raisins, and pumpkin/yam something. Tasty as usual and whisking me further into bliss—which happens to be far from Winslow…

More tomorrow…

Blog #2 de Cruise 2Ten: 10 Pretty Pieces of Fruit for Dessert

As soon as I walked on the boat, I was transported into Resort World. It was quite cool. I found the café that is described below which is right past the swimming pool, Jacuzzi, and 250 lawn chair-lay-out-things on the top deck. I was one of the first 50 to get to the top part of the ship. They were offering these beautiful “Fun Ship” drinks that were quite stout with several beverages of choice including rum.

In my first trip to Mexico in Summer 2008, I was hit on all the time, and they would say things like, “Mami! Come marry me! I love you! You beautiful chica!” Now. Back to the boat. Each worker has a name tag with their name (obviously) and their country of origin. So this one very bubbly worker with the skin color that would match at least 12 different nationalities, comes up and says, “Hey Mami!! Come buy a drink!” Problem #1 with this is that he offered me a drink when I don’t look 21 (I usually get between 15-19 years). Problem #2 is that he used a very Mexican idiom/title for a woman “Mami” and was from the Philippines. Not necessarily a “conflict of interest”, but definitely a “conflict of country”.

In preparing for this trip, I thought about things that I was expecting on the ship. I knew there would be food, but I was expecting Six Flags food since we were traveling across an ocean and they would surely have trouble planning high-quality meals on a boat! So when I arrived, I went to their cafeteria which had food similar to Winslow—Murray’s infamous cafeteria: chicken fingers, burgers, hot dogs, asian ready-made stir fry, etc. Nothing fantastic—well—the nachos were/are a religious experience. Today makes Day 3 that I’ve had a plate-ful of salsa, sour cream, chili-meat-stuff, and fresh tortilla chips. When dinner rolled around, I expected much of the same, but to my surprise, we were whisked away into a high-class dining experience fit for queens/kings/royalty.

My first clue that this was not going to be normal food was the napkin. It was on the plate. I looked at it and thought—“Well that needs to be put in my lap”. Little did I know that it was the waiter’s job to put it in my lap—Imagine that! I remembered today. Then the waiter, Jaco (pronounced YA-ko) from South Africa, handed each of us a menu detailing the meal options for the evening. Day 1 appetizer was a sort of fruit salad. The first thing I realized is that non-Applebees cuisine means smaller portion sizes and high priority on beautificality of the plate. There were a total of 10 pieces of fruit, but it took 20 minutes to eat it because one didn’t want to inhale it and miss the experience. It even had celery next to the grapes! Also, dissimilar to Applebees, the appetizer is really a non-entrée plate of food. As a cheap college student I could have easily eaten off the appetizer plate and been satiated for the evening at Applebees. Affluent appetizers is meant to tease the tongue.

For my entrée, I enjoyed a medium-well steak with rich-people macaroni and cheese and creamed peas. I don’t know what the sauce for the steak was, but I wanted to drink it with a straw. Dessert was more fruit—2 pieces of watermelon, 2 cantaloupe, 2 pineapples, 2 honeydews, 4 slivers of strawberry, 4 pieces of kiwi, 6 grapes, and 1 mint leaf.

I’ve been thinking about what the transition will be from rich-people food to normal American food, self-served on a tray, fed to the masses, reheated the next day if not completely consumed, fit for the average Joe college student at Murray. Alas…I’m sure the food services people of Mr. Fritz’ office will abhor a request to place my napkin in my lap before handing me a menu at the Winslow Cafeteria. I think I will just have to bite the bullet, suck it up, and order yet another semester’s worth of chicken pot pie, seasonal vegetables, and a roll—wait, no roll please.

Til Tomorrow…

Blog #1 de Cruise 2Ten: Pee Under Me

Welcome to the Boat of FUN! Fun seems to be the focus of this trip into the water of God and of little birds that can swim and dive as it pleases. This is my first cruise and it is quite an experience. There are a few things that have caused me great alarm and entertainment:

1) Thought #1: I for the past several years (over 14-ish) have prided myself in not peeing on an airplane. I sat one day waiting for my plane to board and they were cleaning out the plane. I wondered what this random hose was for. At one time I thought it was so cool that humans could actually go pee in the nifty bathroom in the back of the plane, but on that fateful day—NO MORE! I felt so bad in my eight-year-old heart of hearts for that crewman who had to hook up the pee hose to the belly of the plane, that I vowed to NEVER, EVER pee on a plane.

Unfortunately, I have done the equivalent on this boat. I could possibly strengthen my bladder muscles for 3, 4, 5, even 6 or 8 hours (compliments of student teaching this past spring), but it is physiologically hazardous to keep one’s bladder full for 5 days—the length of this cruise. I try not to think about the fact that somewhere someplace, there is pee under me—not just other random ppl, but mine. If a section of the ship smells particularly bathroom-y, I can’t pass it with pride knowing that it is not my fault. It could be, and that makes me sad. Alas…

2) Thought #2: Gone are the days of Titanic-looking boats. This boat—possibly the size of Noah’s back in the day—is a wonder of engineering and human creativity and genius. Imagine a mall, casino, hotel, spa, gym, hair salon, an ex-alcoholic Anonymous’ secret haven (aka bar), 3 eating areas—two with 4 and 5 star eats, elevators, and endless hallways. I often wondered what the Mayflower was like and have read narratives about the plight of the Pilgrims to this land of taxation, unequal opportunities, political slavery, and ill-conceived “bliss”. Was it cold? Hot? Smelly? I have come to the realization that I will never know if boats are now the likes of Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian.

3) Thought #3 I MUST learn how to dance. After much coaxing from a dear friend in Murray, my academic home-town, before reaching international waters and exorbitant satellite cell-phone roaming rates, I was encouraged to cut a rug while on the boat. Although all of the “Intro to Cruising” talks have reminded the passengers that “what happens on the boat stays on the boat” and “you’ll never see these people again”, I still have trouble with the idea of dancing. First, I am one of the few people on this boat of African descent—therefore I will stick out in the crowd—even if the dance hall is dark. Second, people assume that all black people can dance. Clearly they have not met me. Thirdly, there is no mathematical algorithm that is to be solved when dancing. If there was a formula that I could memorize to “shake my dinero maker” (as a song quips), I would be all for it and probably a master of dancing. However, it is these three concerns that have plagued me in learning to dance. I did attempt. God allowed the DJ to play Cupid Shuffle which has explicit directions on which way to move and how many times—to the right, to the right, to the right, to the right…..Hey! I can do that! I took the advice of my dear friend and memories of what to do with my hands to coordinate with my feet from the Springer Ladies and OWNED the Cupid Shuffle! I was kinda good at it! *tear!

I t I think that is it for the day. Tomorrow will provide many more things to discuss and observe.

De Deuces guys!