1) Describe the degree as if it has already been accomplished.
2) Describe your graduation ceremony.
3) Include emotion, people, and the details that will help to crystallize the vision into reality.
4) Finally describe what this degree has answered in your life.
Here's what I wrote:
Doctorate Shmoctorate
I have a strong feeling that this degree will be “way too
much hype for no applause.” I
imagine myself walking out of my successfully triumphed dissertation defense
and the stoplights will still go from green to yellow to red and back to green,
the wind will still be blowing, the sun will still be shining, and I’ll still
have to push doors open and shut.
What I would like to happen
when I graduate are some Aurora Borealis lights with my name in them, a custom
made Jacuzzi that I could swim in inside my apartment, zebras to talk to me,
and a wedding proposal after which I would pass out with romantic bliss. However, somehow I really don’t think
any of those would happen (although I would REALLY like the latter to and am
now taking resumes for that man with exceptional qualities and character).
Anyway. I
digress.
The world will continue and I’ll still be called Jenaya by
friends and family, but my resume will have a bit more sparkle. For my graduation ceremony, I’m not
sure how I can top my last one.
For my Master’s, I had a frohawk (hair braided up to a big fancy braid
down the middle) which was handcrafted by a very dear and amazing friend of
mine, earrings from Costa Rica that my frohawk mastermind brought me from her
trip there Summer 2010, black stockings, and a custom designed pair of orange
and white striped, Dr. Seuss’ Cat in the Hat emblazoned, high-top Chucks. It was amazingly epic.
So for this graduation? I’ve really no idea. I’ll start planning my outfit at around month 28 of
this program. I’d like my family
members to be here and I’d like a poster made in my honor with glitter. Lots of glitter. I’ll probably cry a whole bunch—I’ve
never done that at a graduation before.
Then would probably be apropos.
I’ll also completely pay attention in this graduation, but will take
pictures of myself on my phone and upload them to FaceBook during the
ceremony. I’d also like to go to a
jazz bar to celebrate afterwards and sway to the music and bask in the
knowledge that I will never ever, ever, ever, never have to be in another
weekend class for 14 hours (not like I don’t like them because I do).
At the end of this, I will have reached my 14-year-old dream
of getting my doctorate. I will
officially call myself an adult after this and believe that my life will really
truly have “started.” This is when
I’ll be fully confident in who I am and what I’m supposed to do on this
planet. I probably won’t tell many
people that if my schooling was a human it would be old enough to drink alcohol
or that I’ve had numerous embarrassing meltdowns in Wal-Mart or that I’ve
written the equivalent of 3 Harry Potter books worth of academic jargon. In the end, it’s no big deal. If Mother Theresa or Mr. Rogers or
Jesus had their doctorates, I’m sure they wouldn’t tell anybody either.
At the moment, I don’t even feel righteous enough to be
called “Future Dr. Perdue”—I’m sure I’ll gain that righteousness after I pass
doctoral comps.
Ahh yes.
But for now, I’ll plug on. I’ll figure out Bowling Green, stay lost in Research
Methods, try to figure out who’s who at WKU, find a brilliant dissertation
idea, learn how to have colleagues, enjoy new budding friendships, continue to
crave Chick-Fil-A’s #1 sandwich with no pickle, and continue to serve
humanity. When it’s all done, I’ll
say, “Doctorate Shmoctorate. I
learned a lot, I wrote a lot, I cried a lot. I’ve been transformed and I’m ready to change the world!” If you are the same person at the end
of the degree as you were in the beginning and you’re not able to inspire
post-doctorately, then all your degree is is fire tender and a waste of tree
pulp.
Oh. Did I
mention I’m going to tour Europe for 2 months after I graduate.? Yes. I’m bringing 1 suitcase, my laptop
MacKenzie, a camera, a map to mark big, red X’s through the countries that I
have visited, and my passport.
The End.
"7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider
them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the
infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded
everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own
righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith
in Christ.[c] For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that
raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection
from the dead!" Philippians 3:7-11
